I guess it’s a touchy subject for me at the moment- last week i turned the same age as my Mum was when she had me, and it prompted some soul-searching!

At the moment, things aren’t so bad as to make me look at serious medical options. If the first lot of pills had been an easy fix, great, but they weren’t and have kind of made me wary. If I can manage things another (non medication) way, then I’d rather give that a try first.

Of course, I fully reserve the right to change my mind when (if) symptoms start getting truly nasty again!

Neko - hey you too That’s good news that you don’t have PCOS, but I totally understand the whole mystery not-feeling-quite-right stuff. But fit, healthy, on top of things is a good plan. If you can do it, I can do it.

Perhaps we need to get badges made or tattoo it on our foreheads “we’re not freaks of nature, we just don’t want kids!” I had the “but isn’t it time you should be thinking of settling down Cas?” conversation with someone at work today.

Settle down? Me? Never! I plan never to grow up if I can help it!

Big Love, but you know that anyway. I’ve just been told I pretty much DON’T have it, after your tests this year made me go back and quizz some things.

Which is odd on different levels. There is nothing wrong, this is just me. It isn’t perfect, but it isn’t ‘ill’; nothing pathological. Which leaves you and me in the same boat, bizzarely- with the getting fit and staying healthy and keeping on top of such things.

Oh, and the kids thing. I’m a won’t. I know it’s selfish. I also thinks it’s unselfish; I don’t want kids. It would be the worst thing in the world to have them if I have any doubts about it.

I have to constantly deal with people telling me ‘you wait. Hormones will kick in…’ Makes me so angry- How am I supposed to start a career as a serious academic, when I start looking at age 29, and people assume that I’m going to want kids in the next five years before ‘time runs out’.

They aren’t supposed to assume, they aren’t supposed to base any decisions on it, but ALL of the male academics I have spoken to in the last 3 or 4 years have made the same assumption; that in my 30’s the person I am will change irrevocably and I will NEED to have children.

So like you, sometimes I wish I had a ‘can’t’ ; not because I’m worried people will think me selfish, but because I can seriously see it affecting my career!

Thoughtful Neko…

I’m having a full hysterectomy and whilst it may sound very final least I know that with this one operation all my illnesses go away - can’t have illnesses with bits you do not have - and as I said even if I do want children I can adopt. I will also note that during the time I was getting my diagnosis I went from a size 26 to a size 14 so you can loose weight with pcos - ok I’m no size 10 but I’m 5ft 8 and to be honest I reckon a woman should have some curves. My husband is on a wheat and diary free diet so by default I ended up on an almost wheat and diary free diet which I am fairly sure helped me. I found that and the gym a huge benefit in my loosing the weight - yoga also helps with toning up things and giving you time outs.

Also, if you are worried about getting pregnant, PCOS doesn’t mean you can’t. It might mean it takes a bit longer, but the practice is always fun, right

Tam - thank you, and *hugs* right back at ya. And it’s true. There is definitely no doubt now that I am a woman!

Edrei - yes, now I know. Some part of me wishes I could go back to blissful ignorance, but on the whole I’m glad I know. As you said, at least now I know what I have to deal with

Karen - I also left the doctor with not many options other than “healthy living” and it was very demoralising to think that I was as informed as the professionals after 30 minutes of Googling! One thing my doctor did recommend is the GI Diet - I am tip-toeing around the idea of starting it (I’ve brought the book and have already cut most bread and pasta from my diet - which wasn’t that hard as the evil pills made me not want to eat anything!) It’s a bit early to say if it is really helping or not, but I have lost about a kilo in 3 weeks which is more than in the previous six months of solid gym attendance combined!

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. Diana and Karen, welcome to Bright Meadow and the comments

I shall end with two bits of wisdom:
As one of my best friends keeps telling me, we all rock, rule the universe, and generally are a set of kick-ass people. Followed by something my dad always says - smile and be happy for the world will get better.

After 3 ultrasounds and seeing a OB/GYN who specialized in this sort of thing, I finally got an answer. And that was about it. There was some discussion about medications but they either made me sick or weren’t suitable for my situation. Essentially short of taking out my ovaries or, as you mentioned, changing to a very healthy lifestyle (which wouldn’t be so bad I suppose) I was not given much else in the way of guidance, advice, etc. However, at least now I know.

Like you, I never wanted to have kids. However, it wasn’t until I read your post that I really thought about it. Was it an unconcious reaction to something my body secretly knew but no one bothered to tell me about. It never really bothered me before my diagnosis because I looked on it as my decision not to have kids but after reading about the fertility problems women with PCOS have, it was as though the choice was taken away from me. It was no longer my decision. The switch from won’t to can’t as you described.

I’m not angry about it. Well, not really. It still upsets me that I am one of those women that have unfortunately lost a lot of their hair (I’ve been wearing a wig for the past 7 years), and my extra weight has pooled around my middle while leaving my legs and arms slender. I’m upset that no one had thought of this diagnosis when I was in my teens and confined to my bed in a fetal position a few days each month, and when my hair first started thinning.

However, there’s no looking back, only forward and I have to admit that finally having a diagnosis (even if there wasn’t much they could do for me) was a relief. Thank you for sharing this with us. Your post was very touching.

All that I can say truthfully is that…now you know. Now you can do something about it, with it or even around it. It’s just one of those things in life we have to take one day at a time. Where it goes from there depends on how we play this game.

But we’re here for ya Cas. It doesn’t change who you are one bit.